


Soothing

by Zemblem



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Music, POV First Person, Pre-Time Skip, Sauna, Singing, Swordfighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22167922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zemblem/pseuds/Zemblem
Summary: Meaning to relax at the spa after a hard time training, Felix seems to have met his match in an unlikely position from an unlikely adversary.TLDR: this was an excuse to get Felix to listen to Ferdinand sing
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir & Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Soothing

I couldn’t help the yelp that escaped my lips as my feet were knocked out from beneath me. Despite the sand, I landed hard on my back and could already tell I would be feeling that in the morning.

1-3… _Damn, Thunder Catherine to hell._

“Giving up already, Felix?” She asked, bending towards me where I lay. “You’re looking a bit like Linhardt down there.” She laughed and stood back upright, turning towards where Linhardt was shrugging and Caspar was guffawing, as loud as ever.

“ _OOOOOH CATHERINE!! PLEASE!! ME NEXT!! PLEASE,”_ he practically squealed, eager as ever. I pressed my fists into my eyes and grew tense with frustration. It took a moment of me holding that pose and Catherine walking towards the crowd before I released and slowly rolled myself upwards. I carefully held myself up by my training sword in the sand before slowly placing it into my hilt, aware now of how the movement caused a spasm of pain in my shoulder and lower back.

_Fuck._

“What, no rematch?” Catherine called, a smirk playing at her lips, carefree as ever. I wasn’t able to slink away easily and this annoyed me further. I looked back at her a moment before turning towards the door.

“I’ll best you tomorrow,” I called back, wiping my clothes free of sand. Caspar whooped in excitement and I could hear his feet shuffle through the sand towards where Catherine stood. The audience we had there reacted when he undoubtedly fell to her immediately and I pushed through the door.

I overdid it this time and I was well aware of that. I had been training all afternoon directly after classes, pushing myself too hard again. I’d only gotten the upper hand on Catherine once and she called it a fluke. She claimed she had gotten distracted when Caspar screamed her name and my sword struck her against her middle. I didn’t see that as any excuse and if anything she all the more deserved to fall that time. She would have died on the battlefield and all because Caspar was excited. That was pure carelessness.

But I was still aware that had he not been there I would have lost much faster and probably much harder. I rubbed at my shoulder from where I stood still outside the training grounds. It was dusk now and there were far less students out and about. Dinner had just ended so the few students outside were headed to their rooms by now.

I’d forgotten to eat, that tended to happen when I got too focused and I knew I would pay dearly for that when I would not be able to get up tomorrow morning. Yet I still didn’t head to the dining hall for a chance at leftovers. Instead, I pondered whether or not I should head to the infirmary. I was incredibly sore and could probably use a few bandages and a vulnerary, but the thought of facing Manuela after another injury was scarier than fighting Catherine with her Thunderbrand. She had warned me about overexerting myself, and though that was annoying, it was more that tonight I didn’t have the patience to handle the onslaught of indirect flirts.

I rubbed at my temple to ease my steady growing headache, staring up as I pondered the best course of action.

Rather than chancing that vapid woman I decided to ignore the aches in my thighs and climb the stairs as the sauna had caught my eye. I used my left shoulder to push open the door, trying my best not to cause myself any more harm. It was late and I wasn’t one to visit much at this time, but I had never seen it so empty before. There was no one at the front desk and I called out for service before taking it upon myself to sign in. It seems the last person to sign out had done so before dinner. Lucky me.

I prayed that this would soothe my weary bones, otherwise I might have to pay a visit to Linhardt; lazy as he was, his hands could probably cure demonic possessions if he so wanted. I didn’t particularly want to talk crests with him today, though. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone for that matter. The combination of my headache and irritable mood made me unpresentable for anyone; I’d spare them that catastrophe.

I was still pondering my loss as I started removing my boots, making my way to the back cubby area. Catherine was by no means fast, but she was a brute! Her strike was easy to underestimate if you weren’t careful. She’d gotten decent swings in and I was glad that we only used training swords. This didn’t change that fact that I still felt as though I were struck with a bat, however. I removed my second boot and when I came upright I was suddenly struck so hard in the face I fell to my back once more, red locks flashing past in a blur.

“Ow ow ow,” I hissed under my breath as I landed on tense muscles. “Why-“ I began to cry out before I was interrupted.

“Oh Felix, I apologize! I hadn’t seen you coming! Come to the spa to relax I see? I hope you trained well!” He stood in the hallway, his elbows still brought up where his hands rested behind his head; so lackadaisical and ever the air of nobility for someone who had unintentionally struck me. He shifted and smiled at me before bowing to help.

I started to see actual red as I slapped the outstretched hand away and slowly lifted myself.

“Von Aegir, _why must you INSIST on taking up the whole hallway when you walk?! Its a two person hallway!_ ”

Ferdinand cocked his head and looked around himself, slowly nodding before returning his gaze to me. “Ah, Felix you are right! I had just assumed the hallway was so wide for ample legroom. I hadn’t even considered the traffic a slimmer hallway must produce on a busy da-“

“ _Goddess!”_ I shouted as I shoved past him. _“Why must you over explain everything?! I literally just said that!”_ I threw my training sword to the ground now wishing it were my sword of Zoltan so that I could strike him down where he stood- _still in the middle of the hallway-_ and never have to deal with his face again. “ _You hadn’t even signed in! You could give someone a heart attack!”_

I was still grumbling and cursing his name as I removed my clothing in a flurry, too angry to feel the pain at the moment. It was only when I had to put on the sauna’s uniform that I finally slowed down. Carefully I maneuvered my shoulder inside first before placing my head through and noticing Ferdinand had left.

Strange for him to leave without so much as a word but I was grateful anyway.

 _Thank the Goddess,_ I thought as I stretched my back, my arms pulling forward and my shoulder blades spreading, before reaching for a towel and leaving the room. I hadn’t particularly liked the idea of sharing a sauna room with Von Crier at the moment anyway. I’d heard he didn’t take too well to the sauna the first few times and passed out at the second addition of more steam.

I laughed at the thought as my hand met the sauna door.

A strange sound caught my ear and I hesitated, the door opening merely a centimeter. I moved my head away from the window and listened closer.

Someone was…

Singing?

_“I’ve never been much of a man._

_I have done all that I can._

_Devout and pious, I bow to my goddess_

_And ask her to me accept as I am._

_I’ve done all the change that I could._

_If I could take it all back I would,_

_But my sweet Sothis, I hope that you know this:_

_It seems I’ve done more harm than good.”_

His voice crooned delicate yet solemn. The song wasn’t complex, a simple limerick you’d swear was from another time, and yet I’d never heard it sung in the church before.

I leaned too far forward and stumbled in, interrupting what I assumed would have been the chorus next.

Ferdinand jumped in his seat at my entrance. He had been staring at the floor this whole time, his hair already drenched in sweat. I would have smirked at him if not for what I had heard the moment before.

“I-“ I started, but was suddenly aware that all the bass had left my voice and I cleared my throat before continuing. “Was that you?” I asked and before I could even finish the sentence Ferdinand blurted a quick, “No.”

I squinted.

This was uncharacteristic of Ferdinand. He was usually one to boast and though I’d never participated in the choir I’d heard talk of his “humble” brags. It seems this talent of his _was_ something to boast about, and he had done it before. But then why here does he hide it?

“No?” I asked, refusing to sit and instead choosing to lean on the wall by the door. He leaned over his knees, his fingers seeming to fight with themselves where he held them together. My legs crossed at the ankle as he refused to meet my eyes.

“I-“ he shook his head, sweat beads falling right before my feet and I pulled back out of instinct. “Yes. Uh, does it… not make you dance with joy?” He turned towards me slowly with a weak attempt of a smile.

I squinted even further at this ridiculous man.

“Literally what the fuck is the matter with you,” I asked and he quickly looked away from me. Even from the angle I could see he was now frowning.

After a moment he sighed before speaking.

“It seems no matter what I do, Felix, I cannot please anyone. Last weak I insulted Petra’s country without realizing it until she was ready to stab me. Just now I was having an argument with Hubert about even my _handwriting_. I was taught so _very_ differently from everyone here. It’s-“ he took in a shaky breath. “It’s all a bit overwhelming.”

And with that, his eyes closed and he fell forward, his body crashing into the hard floor of the sauna. I jumped up immediately, my arms pulling him onto my already sore back and I groaned in protest at his dead weight. The fool seemed to have added too much water too fast to the sauna and it was- _surprise-_ too hot for him.

Quickly I pulled him into the cubby room aware of the sweat and what I now am pretty sure was a bit of vomit trickling down my back.

Setting him down against one of the benches, I quickly leapt to get a basin of water from one of the backrooms.

With a jolt he awoke to water being splashed on his face.

“What happened?” He asked, scared but also a bit out of it.

“You died.” I threw a towel at him and left to find a cup. I was able to secure that and also some crackers from the kitchen.

“I _what?!”_ His energy was slowly coming back but his sense of humor seemed to have never existed.

“You made the sauna way too hot.” I said, matter of fact now as I stood before him, handing him the crackers. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

He grimaced before taking one between his lips and reaching for the cup of water. I sat with a heavy thud onto the bench, fully aware that I was not going to be partaking in the sauna any time soon. I’d hardly even gotten to sweat.

“No,” he said after he’d gotten through the first cracker, not a single crumb in sight, his manners ever so polite even after passing out. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” He rolled his eyes before continuing. “I was saying before… I seem to do this thing where I just can’t _ever_ do things right.”

I nodded my head slowly, unblinking as he took a small sip.

“Yeah. Yeah, you _do_ do that. Did you actually need me to confirm that?” I asked.

It seemed he didn’t like my tone. I could tell by the way his feet shifted, his body turning a fraction of a hair away from me.

“No, actually.” He turned his nose upright and stood up. “I didn’t need you to confirm that,” he spoke softly. He was now facing his cubby, and took a bite of another cracker before setting everything down and reaching for his carefully folded clothes. I couldn’t help but stare to where I had thrown mine, not even bothering to pick it up from where I left it before entering the sauna because I was so angry. “Everyone seems to have beaten you to the punch. Strange since I know you to be the one who punches first.” His shoulders shook once in a small chuckle and he moved to remove his garments. There’s some humor at least. I turned away, picking my clothes up as he spoke.

“Earlier I was… praying. I don’t know if I’d call it a prayer so much as a mantra though.” His voice was lost in thought. He seemed even unsure of himself as he spoke. “I keep needing to remind myself that I’m not… always… right. And it’s not _easy_.” He huffed a breath before turning to me, now fully dressed. He noticed the state of my sauna top and winced before pulling a clean one from the basket by the door and throwing it towards me. I caught it and quickly exchanged the tops. He balled the one I once wore up in his fists and stared down at it for a moment before chucking it into the dirty laundry basket. “So I pray.” He shrugged. “I don’t know if it helps or if it just makes me feel sorry for myself.”

“Sorry for yourself,” I answered. “Definitely sorry for yourself. You could literally just change.”

Ferdinand had been staring at his fingernails for a moment- I hadn’t noticed before how particularly all but one were manicured- before meeting my eyes from his lashes in a bit of a glare.

“Can you change yourself, Fraldarius?” He asked, his chest suddenly puffing out. “Your pride for your measly swordsmanship is grotesque and you ooze of hypocrisy constantly. At least I’m smart enough to admit I _have_ a problem.”

I turned away from him, suddenly angry myself as I decided for the final time that the sauna wasn’t the right choice tonight. I switched out of the uniform and threw them, furious when they didn’t reach their mark but I continued to put my regular pants on anyway. Ferdinand slowly walked to where I had thrown mine and placed them carefully on the bench near me.

“Are you mocking me now?” I spat at him as I placed my sword back in my belt. He flinched before taking a deep breath and speaking.

“I don’t need to,” he said softly before turning back to his belongings and placing them all into his bag. Briskly he turned, two fingers absentmindedly saluting from his head in goodbye before dismissing himself.

“Yeah, okay, leave! _Go work on your singing voice_!” I shouted at him, suddenly attacking anything about him that I could. “You do need _that_.”

The door didn’t even slam behind him. He stayed calm through the whole interaction as I very obviously lost my shit.

Ferdinand having withdrawn from the sauna left it very much empty. I shrugged off the items I had hastily packed and slowly folded them, placing them into a cubby before changing into the uniform he placed beside me once more. I entered the sauna and semiconsciously sat where Ferdinand had, leaning backwards so my head rested against the wall. The room was hot enough, adequate time passed that it was now a comfortable discomfort. What I found more intolerable was the thought of my whole interaction with Ferdinand and his constant dramatics. Even his prayer was theatrical…

He accused me of not being able to admit I had a problem. He was mistaken, however. I have no problem acknowledging if I was actually in the wrong. I was not, in this case.

Sweat began to bead on my forehead and I grew steadily more uncomfortable as I felt it slide down my back.

 _Though_ … I did think I was wrong to criticize his singing voice when I lashed out… I hadn’t even meant it…

I grew restless, leaning my head onto my shoulder as my knees bobbed up and down where I sat. I was sore but couldn’t feel it over the noise in my head.

Had I not heard him at all when he was attempting to open up to me? People were nitpicking him… and I had done the same.

I started that interaction with _him._

It wasn’t like it was his fault I’d lost my battle…

I was still angry about his accusations, however. Me, hypocritical and proud?

How about you look in the mirror, Ferdinand?

_I’ve done all the change that I could_

_If I could take it all back I would,_

The lull of his voice entered my ears again. He’d long since left but his prayer seemed to get stuck in my head. It was more a song really, but the lyrics were plainly laid. I understood what he was getting at. He’s learning every day and he’s really sad yada yada yada.

_But my sweet Sothis, I hope that you know this:_

_It seems I’ve done more harm than good._

Well, me too, Ferdinand, but just because you meant well doesn’t mean things always end up well. You’re too old to believe that. People meaning well is often how other’s get _hurt._

I shrugged the thought of Glenn off my shoulders and shifted suddenly too warm. It enraged me that Ferdinand had brought on this type of thinking so late into the evening. All I had wanted was to relax.

I took a deep breath in before letting go of a shaky one. I closed my eyes and folded my hands together in front of me before trying again.

_I’ve never been much of a man._

_I have done all that I can._

_Devout and pious, I bow to my goddess_

_And ask her to me accept as I am._

Was I praying now? I wasn’t particularly devout myself but I found Ferdinand’s mantra so easy to repeat now though I’d only heard it once.

I hated singing. Why do with words what one can do with a sword?

I understood the point, however. One can hardly ask the Goddess for forgiveness while also cutting her down.

Sitting here now, my hands clasped, I couldn’t help but hope that Glenn was okay, wherever he was and that I could forgi-

Forget. That I could forget.

All I would like now was to forget. To forget Glenn, to forget the Boar, and to forget Ferdinand and his _infernal song! Goddesses!_

My hands reached up to my cup my head. I wanted to block my ears though there was nothing to listen to.

It was a ceaseless cycle, a cacophony in my head that made me feel as though I would go mad. I was very much not relaxed right now and I hated him all the more for it.

Suddenly I was pushing myself forward, doors thrown open wide as I ran despite the pain to grab my things. I didn’t lace up my boots, I hadn’t signed out- _though when I walked past I glimpsed Ferdinand’s ornate handwriting beneath where I had signed-_ , and I left wearing the sauna uniform, aware the boss would probably come for me tomorrow but not caring. My belt, pants, and shirt were thrown over my shoulder, my sword every so often jabbing against my back as I descended the stairs. Hurriedly I sprinted across the lot and towards the garden area before banking a swift right up the stairs into the dorm. I passed Linhardt and Caspar walking down and their excited glances dropped as they took in the state of me. They pressed against the wall, probably avoiding the sweat and smell of me.

Ignoring them, not even realizing I could have spoken to Linhardt about my injuries, I continued upwards. My body at this point was moving of its own accord.

I told myself I was headed to my room, and I completely was, but I couldn’t help it when I paused on the staircase before my direct hallway. I looked back to the most immediate door, and then out to the hallway to be sure it was empty, before jogging down the stairs and tiptoeing close. Gently I placed my ear to the door, hoping and praying that-

“ _But my sweet Sothis, I hope that you know this:_

_It seems I’ve done more harm than good.”_

He was singing again, his voice like velvet as he wept.

_“By the morrow I’m hoping_

_All will fall to plan._

_Tonight as I’m sleeping, I hope that I’m dreaming_

_Sweet Sothis will lend me a hand._

_By the sunrise I’m wishing_

_I’ll be a better friend,_

_But tonight as I’m sleeping, I hope that I’m dreaming_

_Sweet Sothis my wounds she will tend.”_

I shifted so that my forehead now lay against the door. I’d never noticed how light the timbre of his voice could be and I had no idea he could ever show so much vulnerability past his noble stature. I couldn’t help my own tears as I listened, suddenly moved by the simplicity of his lyrics.

When his song finished, I heard the creaking of his bed frame and I quickly moved away from the door, wiping my face before running up into my own room, the door slamming shut.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a post I'd seen by @DiOPPIO on Twitter and I couldn't get it out of my head. Plus I had @Ferdinands-love-club's support for writing it on Tumblr so how the hell could I not?
> 
> Aaaaaand... uhhh.. that song. Yes I did write it.  
> And yes. I did record two different versions of it for you to listen to and get the idea of what type of mood Ferdinand was in at that moment.
> 
> Click here for just the piano:  
> https://zemmieemblem.tumblr.com/post/190132990462/music-to-accompany-my-fe3h-fic-soothing-no-words
> 
> Click here for... me.. singing... and making it more theatrical k bai:  
> https://zemmieemblem.tumblr.com/post/190132991227/music-to-accompany-my-fe3h-fic-soothing-i-wanted


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